Six Television Cliches That Make Me Mental!

As a Generation X child raised by television, I have, do, and will continue to consume massive amounts of television content. While my viewing habits have migrated over to streaming platforms for my scripted content over traditional network fare, the clichés found below are still being used with reckless abandon.

Maybe these don’t bother you. Maybe you have others I have failed to list. Either way, it’s fun to dissect the language of television.

One: The Police Procedural…

While Law & Order is the original offender who set this cliché in motion, there are many others who have followed in its footsteps.

Specifically, when police stop by a home or place of business to question someone about a crime. Without fail, the person being confronted hands over a clue or red herring and then abruptly ends the conversation, saying some version of the following.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m very busy…”

I don’t know about you, but if homicide detectives come to the house to ask me questions about a girl who was raped, murdered, and dumped in an alley, I would probably not be so quick to dismiss them. I understand many people do not trust the police, but this always rubbed me the wrong way.

Don’t believe me? Watch any episode of Law & Order and/or SVU and tell me I’m wrong.

Two: The Sitcom Staple…

This cliché is so ubiquitous, you can find it to this day in TV shows and sitcoms, often without a single ounce of irony or shame.

It’s called the “Gilligan Cut.”

This comedic device is very simple. A character in a show, usually a dupe, protests a decision being made by others in the show. They make a big scene, stamp their feet, and cross their arms, saying, “For the last time. I am not putting on that dress!”

Cut to…

Said character, wearing the dress, while the audience laughs.

Any time a character refuses to do something, in a dramatic way, you can trust the Gilligan cut is going to be employed. It’s a cheap laugh, and you’d think it wouldn’t still be so popular.

As you probably guessed, the reason this is called the Gilligan Cut is that it was often used in the sitcom Gilligan’s Island, where the happy idiot Gilligan would refuse to do something embarrassing and the next thing you know, Gilligan walks out in a coconut shell bikini and a straw wig to perform in a show put on by the other castaways.

Three: I think I’m gonna be…

Another overused cliché is the woman who vomits for no particular reason. While, yes, morning sickness is a symptom early in a pregnancy, this cliché is so overused, it feels tired. Much like the coughing up blood cliché meant you were going to die of consumption (tuberculosis) and the blood on the rag was your indication. It does beg the question of how you show that a character is pregnant and may not know it.

A runner-up for the puking cliché is the “finding a pregnancy test in the trash” trope. It is usually used to inform the audience or supporting characters rather than the main character.

Four: Everything is in its right place…

This cliché is less obvious to the casual viewer, but when you know what to look for, you will understand how often it’s being used in modern-day television.

When a character who is normally pessimistic (or negative) acts happy or encouraging — or two or more characters are bonding in a way that doesn’t seem earned- you can believe someone is going to die, be hit by a bus, or have some horrible tragedy befall them.

Sometimes it comes as a heart-to-heart between two characters. It’s a phone call while driving or a moment of clarity.

“Listen, honey. I’m sorry for earlier. I was overreacting. Let’s move in together and finally start a new life together.”

“You mean it?”

“I do. I love you, and I can’t wait to get home and see you!”

He hangs up the phone and smiles. We are genuinely happy for him when — Oh shit, a semi has just t-boned him in his car. No way he will survive.

Lesson learned? Be wary of any character who is too positive.

Five: I’m so angry I could kiss you!

I find this cliché in dramas and wonder if the writer is from another time. The idea that opposites attract is not a new thing, but when you see two characters who hate each other get increasingly angrier and more physical, you can be sure they will soon kiss. Not just kiss — like unbridled passion-type kissing.

It’s hard to realistically show two opposing characters finding each other when they seem to hate each other from the jump. The beginnings of this can be found in the “meet-cute” beat in romantic comedies and every single Hallmark Christmas movie. The couple will clash in some annoying way. He knocks the important papers out of her hand, or she takes his parking space.

Chemistry and rapport build even when you intellectually hate the person in front of you. However, the idea that you will eventually get so angry with each other that you shed clothes may actually happen, but it feels less than authentic.

It usually works better when the moment of passion follows a moment or two of weakness and vulnerability that lowers their guard enough for their more primal passions to take over.

Six: Let me see that file…

There is an implied language of the visual medium, but some of it always drives me insane. Often when a story problem is at a dead end, someone will come in with a file.

It’s a medical history file, it’s a rap sheet of a criminal, or it’s the exculpatory evidence needed to free an innocent client rotting in jail.

The file itself is not the offending item. A case might be made whether this new information has been truly earned or not, but that’s a whole ‘nother Oprah, as they say.

The issue is that within two or three seconds, the person who is handed the file immediately absorbs all the complex information it contains.

“Boss, you really need to see these financials,” says the investigator.

The boss glances at them. GLANCES at them, then states, “He’s been embezzling millions for years…”

How in the hell could you get that from your short perusal? I know there is an efficiency needed in TV dramas, and so we forgive the extra sensory perception used by the lead character, but it still drives me crazy.

Sometimes, the detective or boss will take the file, look at it, and realize it’s too much to absorb and says, “Bottom line it for me. I don’t have time to read all this.”

It’s a way around this obvious annoyance, but it’s so overused you can find it in medical procedurals, cop shows, lawyer shows, and mysteries.

Do these bother you as much as they bother me? Let me know in the comments and keep on watching!